NUSWhispers – Confession #88968
TL;DR - How do you ask a platonic friend if they want to become FWB without pissing them off??
For some reason, I can't stop thinking about having sex with one of my platonic girlfriends. We're both very busy people, she (F23) is in college full time and works, I (M25) work two jobs at 60+ hours a week. Neither of us have time for a relationship right now, and I'm not sure we would be good in a committed relationship anyway.
However, I do think we would be good FWB for several reasons:
First, we have good chemistry together. We are both touchy-feely with each other. We hug and peck on the lips whenever we see each other, and have cuddled several times. But nothing along the lines of sexy time.
Second, we are both good looking, hard working people. We each take care of our bodies, so why not enjoy them together? I'm 6'3", she's 5'8" and even when we hug, we definitely 'fit' together well.
Third, we trust each other. This is obviously the most important thing in any relationship, FWB or otherwise.
Now I'm stuck on how the hell you ask someone if they want to become FWB. I absolutely do not want to have sex with her without her knowing that we have a FWB situation worked out, because I'm afraid she would develop feelings for me.
So, how the hell do you go about asking someone this? I've never been in this position before I've had sex with someone. Previous relationships just kind of turned into FWB. I'm thinking face-to-face, this isn't really something you should text another human about. Also, should I mention an STD check or anything? I'm clean and I'm 99% sure she is, but you can't be too careful. I also don't want our current relationship to be ruined if she says no. I'm not worried about it being awkward, I just don't want her to be mad at me if this doesn't work out.
How do you suggest I go about this? How would you prefer a male friend to ask you? What should my backup plan be to save our friendship if she says 'no'?
All advice is appreciated!