NUSWhispers – Confession #77731

First of all, this is not a racist post, I hope dear admin would understand. I met my ex-girlfriend of 3 years back when we were students at FASS. On the 3rd year, we were still going strong, but she has taken a liking to this Caucasian French student and always keep talking about him. At first I thought it was just a harmless crush, and slowly she started going out with him for coffee a few times. Of course after a while I was upset. I told her how I feel, and that's when she announced she's breaking up with me. She felt that our relationship was stagnant and that I was too much of a Singaporean who still lives with his mother. Unlike Jacques (not his real name) who traveled hundreds of miles away from his home to study in a country that does not speak his language. She added that he is independent, charming and much more (culturally) interesting than me. I'm just an ordinary Singaporean Chinese who is nothing compared to an overseas Ang Moh. And just like that, she dumped me. That was like 6 years back. I still couldn't get over the breakup and I admit I'm an emotionally weak person but life has to go on right? Today I'm working my ass off in an office job that I dislike, I've gained weight and I go home every night just to play video games to ease myself. I'm still single too, tried several dating apps but to no success, probably because I was looking too much for somebody to fill my ex's shoes. As unreasonable as she was, I still remember her as this sweet, loud beautiful girl back when we were still freshmen. And because of that, forgive me, I have started to have a feeling of resentment towards Ang Mohs. Today, she is still with him travelling the world and living the high life. She's got a job she's probably happy with. Jacques too, from what I observed from her facebook post, he's got a working permit here. They got engaged some months back and after that I unfollowed her. I feel so inadequate. Sometimes I wish I was an Ang Moh. They always seem to have all the luck (my loud-mouthed boss is a wealthy Ang Moh too). I'm sure you all think I'm an immature guy who couldn't get past one bad relationship. I have no arguments about that. I write this tonight, to ask for advice. I want to change. It's been 3 weeks now since I've last not check my ex's facebook profile and this is the longest record. What can I do to become a better person? It's true, I'm just a local guy who likes simple things and be closer to my family. If so what can I do to be better than an Ang Moh who seem to have everything?