NUSWhispers – Confession #63311

Honestly, what's with the recent truckload of guy having to pay for girl and all that bullshit. My story - Singaporean girl here, met husband in NUS. After 1 yr of dating, we decided that we were serious abt our r/s and started discussing plans for our future (marriage, kids, pre wedding photoshoots, honeymoon etc). We knew we needed a lot of money to make things work and we weren't rich. So while all our peers were partying away, going on couple holidays/staycay/getaways and grad trips; we were there giving private tuition and working our asses off during summer hols. We set up a joint account where we would contribute our hard earned money in. Of course, we had our own personal accounts but it weren't significant. We would scrimp and save wadever we can to make our dreams work. At e start of our r/s, we went dutch with the occasional presents for each other. After confirming that I'm the one for him, he decided to pick e tab most of e time (I'd insist on paying sometimes if its too expensive). As a result, I understand that he will not have much savings compared to me. Yrs later. He grad a yr earlier than me but didnt managed to get a job immediately. As such, he took up waitering temporarily to earn some money - determined to marry me when I grad. When I grad, I got a job immediately, earning more than him (even after he changed job from waitering to desk bound). I paid for all our dinner dates. Our wedding - we copaid for our rings, our banquet, our local and overseas pre wedding photoshoots and our honeymoon. Many of our frens were shocked as to how we did it in e year of my graduation; thinking we had financial help from our parents when we did not. Its amazing how 2 of us even saved at least 250k before e age of 30. Fast forward till today. We own a condo and have children of our own. I paid double e amt my hubby paid for our condo but I don't draw the lines with him and say hey, you're the man, you're supposed to pay for that roof over my head or I don't wanna marry you. Nah. We work tgt as a team. We support each other when we can. And now when I'm no longer working to care for our children, he pay for all the bills to support our family. Moral of e story is - if you love somebody wholeheartedly and see a future with them, work tgt as a team. Make it work. Don't be so calculative. Dreams take flight when you work tgt, not thrash each other.