NUSWhispers – Confession #109635

I regret getting married. I’m writing this anonymously because I have no safe place to say it out loud. Over the years, I’ve slowly been cut off from my parents and my siblings. Every disagreement turned into proof that I was a bad son from a bad family. I’ve been told my upbringing was wrong, that my mother is evil, and that I’m fundamentally defective as a person. When mistakes happened in my marriage, I apologised and took responsibility. But instead of resolution, the punishment never ended. I was yelled at for days, threatened with divorce, and sometimes physically hurt — pinched, slapped, objects thrown at me in anger. Each time, I was told I deserved it. Even being in public feels unsafe. If I look in the wrong direction or stay quiet for too long, I’m accused of being immoral or disloyal. Silence is taken as guilt. Explaining myself makes things worse. We now have a child. I love my baby, but I am drowning. Almost all caregiving responsibilities fall on me — nights without sleep, days without rest, work performance suffering. When I ask for help, I’m told this is how it should be, that I must carry everything alone. My career has stalled. My mental health is broken. I feel like I’ve disappeared as a person. I’m not writing this to say all marriages are bad. I’m writing this for anyone who feels pressured into marriage without truly knowing what life can become. Please think carefully. Please protect your boundaries. Please don’t lose yourself. Staying single and peaceful is better than being married and slowly erased.